Mr. Crane and the bear
So there was this thing that happened recently to some people I know.
Nate and Mr. Crane were walking in the woods and they saw the bear that lives there. You have to understand that this isn't just like anyone coming across a bear, because Nate has this extreme phobia of the bear. Pretty much as long as Nate has existed, he's been obsessed with the idea that the bear is going to attack him. Crane on the other hand isn't as much afraid of the bear so much as he just hates the bear; he'd actually been attacked by the bear before, and he had more than a little bit of a grudge.
So anyway, there was the bear. While most people would just back away slowly and hope the bear leaves them alone, Mr. Crane and Nate weren't most people. Nate handed Crane a big stick and told him to poke the bear to see what kind of mood the bear was in. It didn't go so well.
The bear didn't like being poked, and really felt--after having attacked Crane before--that Crane knew better than to bother her. She attacked. Crane was pinned down by the bear while she mauled him, as bears will do when angered.
"Oh shit!" Nate said. "You need a bigger stick!" So he handed Crane a bigger, heavier stick. The bear just seemed to get angrier. So Nate got another stick. And another. Meanwhile, Crane was losing a lot of blood.
You know, I have to pause here and point out that these two weren't alone in their rather crazy incitement of the bear. Some time previously, Mr. Crane had been sorting out his feelings about the bear, and he had said to himself, "You know, maybe I can just leave the bear alone, and we can live peaceful lives and not worry about each other." There was this other guy, Barry, who was really tough and popular and he heard Crane talking this way and he wouldn't have it.
"Dude," Barry told Mr. Crane, "that bear attacked you! You can't just let that go! And you know the bear better than just about anyone; I bet you could take the bear in a fight! If you did fight the bear, I'd back you up, too." The idea of being nonantagonistic toward the bear was pretty much over right there.
And so we ended up eventually to our story, with Mr. Crane pinned down by the bear, bleeding out while being handed a series of sticks by Nate. It just wasn't working out, and Nate was running out of sticks, but he was sure if he stopped helping Mr. Crane, the bear would surely turn on him. Barry wasn't anywhere to be found.
Right around that time, Don showed up. Now Don, he was tough like Barry, but he wasn't as well-liked. He wasn't as smart, and he was a bit of a jerk; in fact, most people considered him a bully. Weirdly enough, Don actually was rumored to actually like the bear, and some people said they were even on friendly terms. I would say Don's reputation was well-deserved, but in every way. He really was more friendly with the bear than just about anyone.
Nobody was happy that Don was there, least of all Mr. Crane, even though Don was probably the best person to help in the situation. Mr. Crane just wanted Don to get him a better stick, and so did Nate, who was still worried that the bear would turn on him.
Don was trying to get everyone to calm down, including the bear. "Listen," he said, "you're not going to get anything back that you lost from messing with the bear, but maybe if you stop fighting her, I can get her to back off and not kill you!" Nobody was really listening to Don, though.
You probably know, the end of this story isn't written yet. Nobody really wants Don to be right, or the bear to win, but nobody wants Mr. Crane to die either. What will be the end?